Dear Friend,
I'd probably never say this to your face, so the only way you'd know this is if you're reading this from my blog right now.
You have changed a lot.
You're very different. You're saying very different things you never would have said in the past. Your behaving in a way you never would have in the past. Your actions are different. Everything is different about you. Come to think of it, you're almost doing everything you would have criticised me for a year ago.
Everyone changes. I won't deny I have changed a fair bit also. For starters, I've become vainer, and more vulgar. Instead of losing weight, I want to put on weight now. I used to think Chinaman Fashion clothing was cool, but now I prefer shirts with attention-seeking motifs on them. I want to be friends with more popular people now. But that's a different story. Now, this is about you.
Everytime we meet, I feel we're getting faker and faker with each other. I never feel I can have a heart to heart talk with you. When I'm feeling really depressed, I think twice about relying on talking to you to be comforted. When I have a really pressing problem, I think twice about coming to you for real advice. In fact, I'd say for such serious issues I need to talk about, I would actually go to my not-so-close friends over you. Why? Because they can give me sound advice and guidance I can count on. Something that assures me. Something that I can trust even though we're not best friends. You on the other hand, have a different style of talking.
How is it that you can never seem to tell when I'm being serious in the way I talk? Is it because I'm always not serious when I talk to you? Perhaps its because I've been too self-pitying for you to tell if I really have a problem I need advice on? If I'm in a fucked-up mood because I say, screwed maths? I will go 'Sigh.. I'm really screwed about my math..." I don't expect any more of you than "Yah lah yah lah math genius... like real you screw lorh... I worse than you..." Like, WTF?
How is if you always turn every conversation into something about you? I say I suck at math, and you try to say you suck more. That doesn't comfort me. Or are you just saying you want me to comfort you?
I used to trust you a lot. I used to come to you whenever I had an issue I needed help with. Now its different. I can never do that anymore because whatever I say, you dismiss it as a joke. Either that, or you simply can't be bothered.
You have changed so much. You're criticising everyone you see. If its not, "Wahlau lah China people!" its "That girl is a fugly bitch/butch!" or something of that line. You've become so much more judgemental. Which is something you criticised me for in the past.
I have so much more to say about you. Your style of speaking is so heavily influenced by your new friends. Your sense of fashion. Even your style of blogging. Why does it seem to... unreflective of the person I used to know? And before I end off, never, ever try to openly suan my dar. Nothing gets me more pissed when you do that. Go ahead and criticise but don't suan her. If you do that, it means you're trying to fuck with me and I will be fucking pissed.
Oh, and dearest PSL, whatever happened to all that 'Respect and Sensitivity' you taught us about? The way you behaved on that day, I'd say it was a whole lot of bullshit you bitched about during PSGM.